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Previous: 4/26-4/30 5/03-5/10 5/11-5/21 5/23-5/28 5/29-6/04 6/05-6/10 6/11-6/15 6/16-6/26 where we write metaphors that we ourselves don't even get - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 19:25:12 (EDT) yeah, what can i tell you, my brother, my killer what can i possibly say? well i guess that i miss you, i guess i forgive you, im glad you stood in my way. what? did i say something against you? well puce said that it seemed so but no dahlin you are my escape from that which sucks me dry with you is where i dream and with her i find myself split - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 16:28:07 (EDT) joined a web ring.... made a splash page specifically for their visitors dunno we'll see how this works out - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 14:48:21 (EDT) this ranks pretty high on the akward scale: standing in line at a burger king a bag in my hand that containt two quarts of water and a plunger and someone I know (business associate) walks up says high and asks me to explain my cargo um......... - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 13:06:36 (EDT) i came to richmond with the idea of living on my own that excited me i was ready to work hard to achieve that but Bn needed a roof he had lost his own and he wanted out of that dreadfull place we had worked together at so my door opened and a key was made after a while his prospects faded he just wanted to stay up all night sleep all day all the while i kept working to have my independence to live on my own by my own terms but he was there expecting me to cater to his needs i could view him as a friend no longer last night he left and i hope he does well for himself maybe he will work for the things he wants maybe but i wish he could understand how happy i am to be free again got a full nights sleep got to work early excited about my job again i feel refreshed even though my apartment stinks from the smell of the backed up toilet he left me i am free again to live however i want without having to restrict myself to someone elses lifestyle he must understand that i did not want him gone specifically i'm not happy he had to be kicked out but i needed my air cleared again i would have liked to help him out if only he had helped himself so i am finally happy again a big weight off my shoulders my life is my own and it is good good luck Bn - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 09:02:06 (EDT) *click* - Wednesday, June 10, 1998 at 08:13:19 (EDT) Freyia Arianrhod - Hera Aine escape a destination that weighs heavy on my mind alone is not my favorite thing but i'd rather be alone than have a leech on my soul i can smell the butane i want to burn the foul wretch off so bad promisies that have become lies doing just enough a step above nothing to keep it's end of the deal but if i escape it can not follow it's leash is short get too far from those that dwell on it and it shrivels and dies it feeds on those that give it compliment it creates and curses any that dare create around it it will not tolerate any threat to it being the center of attention this selfish worm it's mouth full of my blood i once thought it was too high on itself to realize it's actions but perhaps i was wrong perhaps they are calculated it knows where it lays and dares me to move it it is always my fault in it's words the blameless worm i will almost enjoy setting it aflame the release of that act maybe force the beast to swim on it's own do maybe one thing for itself it can not feed from me anymore it is killing me a new option though the escape to a distant shore a place where recent past can not touch me where a past of imagination and heart can be touched i may find more worms there that thought in my swirling logic but my heart leads me there it's noise so loud that it deafens the logic i will begin the step to my search a home a purpose a place the women in my head in my sights my thumb on the flint i listen to the clean sound of whisteling butane - Tuesday, June 09, 1998 at 11:21:14 (EDT)  - Monday, June 08, 1998 at 16:37:52 (EDT) wheee *hic* i just read a guestbook where Bn put his new URL (http://www.640k.com/~bn/) so i guess it's open game now see his page send him email tell him how sexy he is then tell him why he is almost as attractive as I am heh luv the abuse! - Monday, June 08, 1998 at 16:29:38 (EDT) Hera Aine.... oh glee, joy, swoon i miss you too much i spat for puce about you today, before i even knew you wrote ;) and all the gurls, grrrrls, womn you sign the guestbook and I am so glad everyone puts a URL i like the pages - Monday, June 08, 1998 at 16:12:41 (EDT) Sarah, the Japan one.... follow this link CLICK ME BABY, DO I MAKE YA RANDY? when you get there notice the band one of my favs then read the last bit of news about Lance's side project the name... one of your favorite things your name on ICQ damn it my life is too intertwined it freaks me out sometimes - Monday, June 08, 1998 at 11:11:28 (EDT) amazing that in this day and age a 23 year old can be a burned out old fart that's what i feel like when i look at one of the most important people to the net Matt Wright the journal you are reading uses his scripts he's prolly a really nice kid but i could not discuss web design over a pint of beer w/ him - Monday, June 08, 1998 at 10:20:34 (EDT) what was Bn up to over a year ago? - Sunday, June 07, 1998 at 18:14:52 (EDT) a new place to rant yup, ya read right doonsbury dot com - Friday, June 05, 1998 at 16:58:14 (EDT) last night..... well after a little Ultima Online i did go out the intent was to groove to some gofik tunes but that did not happen i did go to the club but little dancing went down and i'm happy about that bn and I strolled in the place immediately i saw Andrea sitting by herself i waved but got no response oh well Us, the two guys, bellied up to the bar and ordered some drinks Bn was on a mission and there was nothin sober about it so we sat and sipped the vodka i look to my right and catch her eye me, sitting right next to her Andrea, talking to a friend, but she waved i grinned after a while her friend is gone and she says hello we start talking this and that i point out the guy that dress and dance just like Jonny "Demon-seed" Dewitt aka devil-Bitch i swoon on about how much i miss him she tells me that she, like everyone else that knew him, had a crush common ground the old norfolk crew i was of the first generation the N'Sect club days Hampton, VA she was more of the Abyss days, a time when i had dropped out of the gofik haunts but there was some crossover knew many of the same people she knows Jeff very well and we talked about all that drama for hours i danced once, maybe twice occasionally she would ask me to hold her things and go fuck it up herself she has mad style one of the best club dancers for my style of music a little industro-gofik fairy princess so very elven Bn was off doin his Bn thing the j showed up and shlopped herself at him sigh that is gettin old real fast so the night wore on came towards a close Andrea and i pretty much in the same place as we were all night leanin in to yell in each others ear we poured out the door and found Bn detained not by his own choice he had become an escort the j wanted to keep trying he, too nice to say no.... j's just a gurl in the big dark city blah but i did not have to leave and Andrea lived a block away i walk her home making her laugh and smile and all those nice things i always love doing that even more so in this case during the eve when i would go talk to Bn for a minute she would sit there mostly alone and look so mad i remember just sitting and staring at her thinking to myself, what is it....? so she laughed and that felt that much better than usual and smiles all the way to her doorstep standing and chatting and then an akward moment for a second i felt the vibe the one that says "i'm here, reach out, touch me, kiss me" just a vibe, eye contact, something that is never put into words but i hesitated and it was gone i had been very carefull to leave a great deal of personal space all night i feared violating that i let that rule me but for the better perhaps there is always next thursday if i am right then she will be thinking the same things and next week i will know for sure anticipation - Friday, June 05, 1998 at 16:21:59 (EDT) i want to be rich and famous and this is why: i want to have a huge house with a giant back yard where i can build a playground and a maze of shrubury (how is that spelled?) and every other weekend i want to invite over my friends the famous artists, actors, innovators, and dreamers i know we will have a cookout t-shirts and cut-off jeans relax and be average joes and i want them to bring their children let them play together and have fun i want to be rich and famous so i can entertain the children of amazing people be caught in the glory of the potential those children hold - Friday, June 05, 1998 at 15:46:44 (EDT) i think i am developing some syndrome i can not seem to remember things until they are blasted at my retinas with an electron gun diseases of the coming millenium whooo hoooo - Friday, June 05, 1998 at 14:55:01 (EDT) |   |